spend your time asking everyone's permission, then runaway and hide

Well, interesting things have been transpiring, to say the least, as the Summer of AddledTM segues into the Autumn of AddledTM - not the least of which is the fact that school has started. Only been to four classes so far, but I think they'll be good. Haven't yet started the writing of the law review article, which I'm sure will be kicking my ass forthwith.

But this is no academic blog, is it? You don't come here to hear about my reading or worries about preparedness for class, do you? No, you come here for the juicy details of my personal/social life. So here's some more.

Notwithstanding that there's a bit more to the tale of EG, I went out for drinks last night with a girl. I'd admired this girl (for whom we may possibly have to choose a moniker, stay tuned) from afar nearly all of last year. She's a year behind me in school, and quite the head-turner. But I never had the nerve to ask her out or anything, so I let it go. Also, last year she thought I was engaged, for some odd reason, but that's neither here nor there.

Now, this girl knew EG from work a couple years back, which is somewhat interesting. At a party last weekend which both EG and this girl attended, they hugged and chatted, and, apparently, EG told her straightaway not to get involved with me - strange, from my perspective, and hers as well, as there was nothing between us at this time. But EG told her don't get involved, he seems nice but he's really an asshole (yep, there's a little more to that story, I guess). Again, kind of strange.

The other part goes like this: a friend of this girl's is a close friend of mine. We only started talking this past summer, but for some reason we just clicked - as friends. I really really like her a lot, and value her friendship highly. I never felt any sort of spark between us, and I never thought she did either - but I was wrong about that. So very, very wrong, as I was informed by this girl (yeah, she needs a designation - 'this girl' ain't cutting it) last weekend. She's never expressed any sort of romantic feeling for me, and I've expressed to her my interest in any number of women, but never her. Nevertheless, she apparently still harbors these feelings for me, and has told her friends, including this girl, not to go after me, nor flirt with me, or do anything to encourage me.

So, back to that party, and it's in full swing before I get a chance to chat her up a bit. I approach her amongst many groups of people chatting, and we chat, and I admit I'm a little tipsy here, but I probably get a little flirty, as I'm wont to do. In fact, I tell her - honestly, with zero expectation that it would lead to anything - how I've always thought she was so beautiful, just a real knockout. She thanks me, trying be as demure as possible. She then, after a bit more chatting, points out her date who is sitting alone in the corner of the room - but not so far away that he can't see me flirting with her. I laugh, excuse myself, and we go our separate ways.

What I didn't know at the time was her directive from two separate friends to stay the hell away from me. So there we are, chatting, me flirting, her daring not to, for both EG and the other friend are in the room apparently shooting her the death glare. I just have to laugh at this situation, you've gotta admit it's pretty funny.

Next day, I get an e-mail from the girl, more or less saying, hey, nice to see you last night, I wish we could've talked more, there were things I wish I could have said but was restrained, how'd you like to go get a drink sometime? I reply, hell to the yeah. It was in this exchange that I was informed there was a friend of hers who had a crush on me, and that's why she couldn't really say things in mixed company. Okay, I understand. Later that night she told me who it was, and we talked electronically about how damn that sucks, I don't want to risk a friendship over an unrequited crush.

Fast forward to last night. No, wait - let me tell you about my state of mind in between: I was interested in this girl, no doubt, but my head also kept making a list of all the reasons why it would be a terrible idea for us to date, not the least of which is the age difference - nearly ten years. Ten frigging years - I'm sure at least a couple of you are shaking your heads right now, thinking, yes, Addled, ten years is too much. She's practically a baby!

Other reasons? My lack of interest in being anyone's boyfriend right now; the EG/other friend situation; that I'm a year ahead of her in school; actually, there were more, but for some reason I can't remember them right now. Why is that, ya think? I think it's because I had such a great time with her last night. I was expecting an immature girl, unwise in the ways of the world, but instead I found a very, very sharp young woman, one who had no problem keeping up with me, and in fact who gave as good as she got. I'm a teaser, I like to poke at people, and she poked right back.

I found out she is basically feeling the same way I am right now - not super interested in a relationship, but maybe open to the possibility. She's been on a few dates with a few different guys lately, guys who, according to her, are all interested in reeling her in. She hasn't been interested in defining what these dates are to her - just hangin', to her, apparently. It was for this reason I had no idea how to classify what it was we were doing, but until the very end of the night, I didn't care too much, I was having such a good time.

But there's always the end of the night, isn't there? She dropped me off at home (hate not having a car), and we talked for a while, until I gathered the nerve t kiss her - wondering if that was on her agenda, or if she was just hangin'. Well, it was on her agenda, thankfully. It was a nice little kiss, or series thereof - nothing too passionate, nor held back. Not the best kiss, either, and though I hesitate to blame her, necessarily, if we end up doing this again, we're going to have to work on her technique.

Final thoughts. I got the feeling she asked me out because she wasn't supposed to - forbidden fruit? That's what it seemed like. Does this bother me? I have to admit, it does a little. Really just a tiny, tiny bit. Am I interested in this girl? Yes. To what extent? I have no idea - I think it's a wait-and-see kind of thing. Also, we may have to fly under the radar if this is going to happen, which both sort of sucks and is kind of enticing - again, forbidden fruit always tastes better than you think. I'm sure there's all sorts of psychological interpretations to be had here, and if anyone is interested in analyzing, please have at it.

Whew! The Autumn of AddledTM is off to a fantastic start.